Its OFFICIAL. Around 17:00 today, my girlfriend admitted to several accounts of “fucking another guy”.
I don’t know what to say.
But I do know how I feel. I feel liberated, free, open, and in control. I feel powerful, strong, and confident. Not the feelings I expected I’d have. I thought I’d be headed for another 3 weeks of depression. But you know what fucking did the trick. You know why I didn’t cry and break down, and head for a 3-week vacation to make love with Satan? I’ll tell you fucking why.
Because I’m a PUA motherfucker.
March 17th 2012 (Saturday)
- Approach: 14
- NC: 3
Fuck…lack of sleep, bad diet, and I didn’t take that zinc supplement…I wasn’t confident my dick would perform at optimum quality. I wandered out of bed, took a shower, quickly took the zinc, cleaned my room, and took a shower. My GF was coming over at 11:30am. Here she is.
As she comes over, I snuggle her, and we hug around in bed while my dad next door is making those fucking stupid annoying grumbling noises. So we start having sex (with condom), and she suddenly had to take a piss. After she peed, she told me her pussy was hurting so she can’t have sex. I had a feeling her pussy was in pain because she was fucking another guy.
I started telling her shit like: “I know you’re fucking that guy”, and “How was the sex with the Spanish guy?” She kept denying and she told me she was loyal. Eventually she got pissed off and started to leave. I grabbed her, and pulled her into bed. She started telling me she wants to breakup and be friends, and the fact she doesn’t like me not paying for her dinner. Then I told her, if we’re friends, I won’t have to pay for her food. She thought for second, I told her – isn’t a BF/GF relationship better? Instantly she said – YES! Fucking gold-digger.
Eventually she gave me a BJ and I cummed in her mouth. What a fucking whore. LOL.
We went on a date around town, and entered a restaurant. Then I confronted her about her second facebook account and how she keeps it to keep in tag with the other Spanish guy she claimed she kissed back in January which made life hell for at least 3-weeks.
She went silent. Then I said, “you fucked him?”. She said “no.” Then I told her – “I know you fucked him, admit it. You fucked him right? right? right?” She went silent. Ahhh, I knew what the answer was, but I wasn’t looking forward to it. To make her admit, I tilted my neck down to make her agree – she did. She said she wanted to talk.
While we moved location, I was feeling anxious. Fuck did I make the right choice in telling her that? How’s shit gonna end up like? She was looking guilty to entire time. And cried. And started complaining about the guy, how she doesn’t really like him – and how he mistreats her. Now she’s bitching to me about the guy she’s cheating on…holy shit! And she started blaming the friend who pressured her into fucking him…Yes – pressured into fucking him multiple times, and lied to me about being busy multiple times too. She’s fucking ridiculous, I was finding the whole thing really funny.
It was like I was looking at the whole situation from a third eye camera, and I wasn’t personally involved in the situation. I didn’t feel sad, I didn’t feel angry, and I didn’t feel like I was losing control. I laughed a little, and I told her “thank you for being honest with me” – with a kiss. Man she was confused! I think put it simply – I DID NOT CARE.
I asked, how will you remedy the situation? What do you want? She said she wants to keep going out with me (yes, especially after I told the Gold Digger I might work for Google, LOL), and that she’ll never see the guy again (like she said last time back in January, but apparently this time its serious). Oh, add to that, she’ll come and see me no matter what.
I didn’t give a shit, which probably shocked her. I said “shikatanai” – meaning “it can’t be helped, whats done is done.” I took her to the station, and said I’m leaving. I left her on my terms, when she was most vulnerable. I felt like a million dollars after being cheated on…
Above, I said the reason why I wasn’t affected is because I’m a PUA. Specifically, the reason why is because for the past 3~5days, I’ve been sarging. I’ve been constantly talking to girls. I’ve been going to Shinjuku station to practice the Yad stop, and sarge around Tsutaya in Shibuya. I’ve been interacting with girls non-stop even though I’ve only caught flaky ones so far. Nevertheless, I’m truly amazed at how cool I’m taking all of this bullshit.
A whole new definition to relationships and sex
Evolutionary, we’re conditioned to believe loyalty in a relationship is important. Traditionally, we’re conditioned to believe loyalty is not having sex with other people. What determines that loyalty? I’ve come to a point where I’m at least getting a logical understanding of how all of this doesn’t really matter. Whether you’re girlfriends’ fucking another guy, or your best friend is talking shit about you, it doesn’t really matter on a personal level. “Don’t take it personal” – a timeless quote which never made sense to me until today.
If my GF wants to fuck another guy, that has nothing to do with me, its her own sexual desires or infidelity. If my friend wants to talk shit about me, thats his own problems and his own insecurity. Life’s too tough already, why the hell do I need to care about another fucking whore, or a fucked up so called “friend”. There’s plenty of potential friends and girlfriends around the world – all accessible with a little “hey, how’s it going.”
I’ve been too immature to understand this very simple, yet hard to grasp concept. Because I’ve had a really scarce mindset. But when you sarge, when you constantly meet new women, you feel abundant. If you earn $1000 every day, and $50 goes missing, its no biggie. If your girlfriend fucks you over, but you have x3 other girlfriends, and an inventory of x30 other girls drooling over your company, then you just don’t fucking care.
The key here is abundance. Thats why I’m going to work on getting financially, and socially (women) abundant.
I don’t know why…but boxing is the funnest thing in the universe now. Even more than football. All of a sudden, I’m starting to see my mistakes, I’m starting to improve rapidly, and I’m starting to enjoy boxing even more. Did 2.5hrs of training today, and it was tough and challenging, and a lot of fun.
It might be because I know I’m gonna have to quit when I go to soccer school. But I pledge to keep improving in the area of martial arts. Every man born on this planet must learn how to physically fight and defend himself and his loved ones.
Shinjuku Station Game
Legoman is in my right ear, telling me all the mistakes I’m making. Telling me to chase that girl no matter what. Telling me to open direct. Telling me I need to leave more distance in between me and the girl. Its like he’s right next to me, Shinjuku station is like Legoman’s graveyard, even though he’s still alive out there. But he left a legacy.
I did the Yad stop, direct English openers. My vibe wasn’t as positive as yesterday when I was with my German friend. Being with a friend who’s not as good as you in pickup really motivates me for some odd reason. But I’m sure we both had fun yesterday sarging and all. I love teaching others, I hope to find someone I can pass my motivation and knowledge to soon.
I only ended up number closing 3 girls in 2hrs. And I didn’t get into my mindset. I realized I’m still scared and fearful when I’m approaching, because I’ve stopped myself from chasing the girl at so many occasions when the time’s been too long, or when she’s walking too fast, or when she looks angry. Legoman would have opened every one of these girls, and sucked them into his world with his dominance. Legoman always told me that my problem is I avoid doing things that scares me – like going direct, speaking in Japanese, or doing crazy shit that makes me look stupid and ridiculous. I’m gonna do the shit that scares the hell out of me, and what I’m most fearful about. That’ll be the key to my growth.
Just one piece of advice for myself. Keep it light. Open x3 girls a day. I don’t need to spend hours sarging. I just need to open x3 girls on my way to doing what I always do. To be honest, I can’t imagine how amazing I’ll be in a week at this pace I’m moving at. And there’s no turning back. I’ve stepped onto a mine, and I know if I take a step-back, I’m going be bits and pieces again.
One more thing, I’ve got a porno shooting on Monday. I need to rehearse the sex-routine to make sure I’m banging-on for 35~40minutes. But as for the mindset that I’m in, its indestructible. I’m gonna dominate the girl, and the stage. I’m a PUA, thats the least I could do.